SERVICING CARS FOR, LIKE, FOREVER!
This is America; we've always needed cars and we always will. This great country was built on petroleum thousands of years ago, when the dinosaurs invented the automobile. Those noble antecedents handed down their technology to the humans, before leaving the planet in great silver birds. (Spaceships, we'll never figure that out!).
For hundreds of millennia, the Native Americans thought the only cars were what we now call "domestics." You know, Studebakers, Packards, Duesenbergs... After eons passed on the highways of harmony, the Vikings arrived, bringing with them all kinds of weird janks like Volvos, BMWs, Mercedes, and other horrors that spooked the locals. Next came the Samurais, Ninjas, and later still more wonders. Our great and fertile land is now blessed with thousands of miles of oil soaked pavement. Someday the dinosaurs may return for us, but if they do, hopefully we can just give them the dolphins or humpback whales, and be done with all of them.
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Back in modern times, Wrench Wizard's founder David began fixing broken things. It was the 1980s. His father said things like "What the *@!#? did you do to the lawn mower?!" Good times. Later, David applied his nascent talents to robotics repair at one of our nation's fine public schools. When that didn't pan out, he found himself slinging chicken wings and tossing pizza dough for minimum wage. When his first motorcycle broke down, his abject poverty inspired him to delve into the mystical arts of vehicular repair. A legend was born. A few hot rods later, his professional career in the automotive industry began. After many years mentoring with ancient gurus, and perfecting strict ascetic meditative practices, he attained ASE Master Technician status. He has specialized in the service of import vehicles, and is currently learning about hybrid technology. And Kung Fu.
Well, the Kung Fu part isn't true. But he is awaiting the eventual return of our reptilian overlords and the epic final battle.
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